And now my lifesong sings - Casting Crowns

Sometimes you just get so caught up in your own work that you forget who you are. You find yourself acting out parts in a play, where you don't know the lines and you trip over the words. You find yourself being someone you're not, because you feel you have to.

And at some point, the gap between the masquerade and you becomes harder to distinguish.

And you lose sight of who's truly important in the big scheme of things.

But at the very end... I hold on to this:

I once was lost, but now I’m found
I once was lost, but now I’m found
So far away, but I’m home now
I once was lost, but now I’m found
And now my lifesong sings

I once was blind, but now I see
I once was blind, but now I see
I don’t know how, but when He touched me
I once was blind, but now I see

And now my lifesong sings...

I once was dead, but now I live
I once was dead, but now I live
Now my life to You I give...

There's so many people I'm not. There's so many people I cant be ...

But there's only one person I am. And only one person I will be.

And there's one I live for. No matter what it costs

back to You

i haven't blogged regularly because... well it's been a mad few weeks. Since the J-Life Camp (18-21 April), I've basically been running full throttle through assessments, vacation work applications, exams and various other responsibilities. But now just one Administrative Law assignment remains, before I can enjoy my one week "study" break... oh, and I have to prepare for an interview at Minter Ellison on Tuesday =)

One month on from camp, I'm still amazed by what God did there, and what He's continuing to do in the youth ministry (definite growth). But the thing is to not just look back, but to keep pressing on =) I cant wait to see what happens this year!


Personally, several things have happened at (and since) camp which have really impacted me...
I've started to realise that I'm not always being honest to God, myself, or to others. and maybe i try too hard to impress. Sometimes, I put the "cell leader" hat on when I'm chatting to ppl, and then I stop being me in exchange for someone who I think i should be. So who am I? It's a very fluid concept according to Gen, but i realise I have to stop doing and just be... which is slightly scary. Basically, to be able to love, you have to be able to be vulnerable. And it starts, as always with being honest to God...

you know me inside and out... how I was sculpted from nothing into something (Psalm 139:15)
so that's one thing that i've been grappling with lately. the other thing is more practical. I spent the week after camp frantically writing up covering letters and a resume for vacation work applications at law firms... eventually I managed to apply for 8 of the larger firms (finishing the last application 15 mins before the closing date). Its surreal to be selling yourself =P. But thankfully (and I sincerely thank God - my resume's a tad empty), several firms have offered me interviews. The first one is with Minter Ellison on Tuesday, which will give me an idea of what to expect in forthcoming interviews. Prayers appreciated. Practicing law is something I really want to do, so this is a step towards that.

song currently in my head: Indescribable by Chris Tomlin
we're doing it at the J-Life led service this Sunday =)