uni is terrific. everyday... i go and come back completely refreshed ready for more... i love the learning of new concepts... foreign as some may be... nothing quite like getting interrogated by the lecturer at tutes as well...
ok... rite...
no actually im starting to hate it... i just went through a horrific monday, where everything went from bad to worse. i started at 9, finished at 5, with a measly 1 hour lunch break...
am still wincing from gastric pains... i shouldnt have put off eating. but there wasnt time. all came to a evil, painful peak during the leader's meeting that night. i dont think ive ever been so tired in my life... but the meeting was good. its amazing how just meeting with your fellow cell leaders and associates can help foster a spirit of unity.
i used to be ambivalent towards being an associate cell leader... i guess i saw it mainly as a responsibility, and i looked at the constraints it put on my life... the time ... the emotional energy... but then i realize its a privilege. to be trusted with leading a cell group... means you also take some responsibility for their spiritual growth, and the first place that starts is with yourself. growth has to come from within.
looking back at myself, i realise that ive been stuck in a rut... ive done things i shouldnt, not done things i should... i havent given myself fully to God lately, a realization i came to on sunday... it's severly ironic that its when i feel the most shamed, the most guilty, when i realise the depth of my problems, that i feel the most positive, at the point when i just give it all to God. i dont know how this works. i should be depresed about myself... but im not. im sad yes... but well with that sadness is the fact that there's still more life ahead of me, and that God is a forgiving God, whose grace surpasses understanding. i know not where this new refreshing lease on life will take me... but naive as it may be... i want this to last the rest of my life. there's nothing like it.
funnily enough my physical health has taken a battering in the last week, with me suffering from a severe cold, and having gastric pains the last two days... prob due to bad eating habits. but well despite tiredness... i'm mentally refreshed... even though things havent gone as they should have in the last few days. ppl i know are severely hurt, and it just cuts me inside that i cant help them... never have i felt so powerless. ive come to realise that words can only go so much... but well all i can do is just stand by them. i think that matters most...
a friend asked me... 'i dont know how i can still smile with all im going through'... i share your sorrow... believe me i do... it cuts me deeply to the core that bad things happen to people i love. why i dont have anything to say about it aside from that i feel your pain? well its because i just cant. i cant find words to say that would do more than just trivialise what you're going through, any word i can muster, that i would have said sounded shallow and meaningless in my mind, and i truly wish i had the answers to the questions, but i dont. all i can do is be there when needed, and all i can do is to point you to the Eternal promise given by the ultimate Person in control, that 'in all things God works for the best of those who believe in Him'... thats all i can say really. thats the truth i hold on to... it makes life livable for me, that there's something better ahead if i just fix my eyes on my Author and Perfector... if i just keep running, despite the hindrances in life... i know that at the end my life will fit in within His Divine picture somewhere... believe me... it cuts that i cant seem to help much here... but well i've realised that all i have to give to the people i love is myself... not much but its all i got... to listen. to empathise. to understand. and ultimately to love them... the greatest calling of all for a follower of the God of love.

back to it...

uni started this week ... hmmm how does one month of holidays go by so fast?
well anyways yeah... am doing 5 units again this semester: Torts, Criminal Law, Corporate Financial Policy, Banking Theory and Practice, and Macroeconomics...
well so far, the only units ive liked are Criminal Law and Macro. the rest?
Torts - sigh it is so darn boring... learning about claims for psychiatric injury, economic loss... etc etc... yeah... also there's a 4 page research assignment due in 2 months time, which will probably hurt quite abit as after 1.5 years of law school, i still cant do legal research =P
CFP? - well the unit looks alright... its just one of those nondescript commerce units which i just am not interested in, but which i have to do due to it being a core unit...
BTP - evil third year unit. Then again Gen is in it hahaha so mebbe i might get some assistance there... the 2 hour lecture on Mondays will kill me though. i only barely managed to stay awake for the 1st one this week.... i have absolutely no interest in the unit, which is scary as i'm majoring in Money and Banking.
the units i like?
Criminal Law: have got Gen Cleary again as the lecturer. she's prob the best law lecturer ive had so far... being a defence lawyer, she's always got good insights into the police process... just lovely how the police do such a great job in WA isnt it? well it's a breath of fresh air hahaha... she gives a new perspective into the judicial system. last year, my Legal Process lectuer ... G Pidco ended up as DPP in WA i think... so yes i've been taught by ppl from both sides of the courts.
Gen is hilarious though... hahaha... especially her insights into police usage of listening devices....
one learns that criminals do live pretty boring lives =P
and Macro? well i love macro. its the reason i'm studying Commerce to be honest. sigh it sounds nerdy but i love economics... how i managed not to do it in high school is beyond me.
only thing is ... well my uni timetable sucks on monday
its 9 to 5 straight... with one break at 12... i get Tuesdays off, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays are light days.... yeah 16 contact hours in total. not bad ehh? =P. my mondays really suck, but dont they always? And now to more cheerful events
what cheerful events?
Well CM cooked me lunch... and for a first time (apparently she's never cooked before)... it was very good. it tasted better than it looked (its the one on the left), and it looked great. its a simple chicken and veg stir fry =P ... simple and good. No i'm not joking. the girl can cook ehh =D even though she did not let me into the kitchen while she was cooking... hahaha so i was severely teased by the smells coming out of the kitchen. Thanx for lunch gal =D was delicious.

I returned the favour a few days later (she prob regrets i did)... im not quite as good a cook. the second picture is what mine looked like... but i was told mine was edible. mebbe she was just obliged to do so hahaha...(chicken stir fry + fried beean sprouts + rice)... simple lahh... and no sign of an egg (well actually i used one =P) hopefully it tasted better than it looked. it tasted ok to me. then again i had a cold. the reason mine was so messy... well was because someone was so hungrythat she didnt give me enough time to arrange the plate properly, but rather just dumped her rice on top... sigh =P what happened to aesthetics and presentation, lady??? =P (joking lahh) well i cant blame her for being hungry... it was around 2pm i think =p not that i took that long to cook... however we started late (around 1:20)... and i only had one frying pan to work with =) (well thats not much of an excuse as she had the same equipment in the first place hahaha). let noone say i have never cooked for my gf hahaha
well neways... off to watch the Ashes now.... have a good week guys (well those of u who read this neways)

holidays

well... holidays have been pretty boring so far... didnt do much last week besides painting the house... and tutoring. so... any thoughts on the week?
one is that God provides. i finally found a job that i really like. so it isnt particularly well paid, so what? the fact is that i enjoy teaching kids english... i get a kick out of it... and so it feels like im getting paid to have fun. seriously, i had forgotten being a child was so fun... hahaha so i cant even bring myself to scold kids when they're getting abit too... havoc is the word =P...
generally at Kumon, one sees the same kids daily, and hahaha some of them are so funny without knowing it. like theres GL, a Yr 10 kid who will do anything to avoid work, there are also 2 brothers, who are not allowed to sit with each other... or it gets... abit riotous to say the least=D...
the other tutors are also pretty nice. the guy i work with the most is Dom, who happens also to be a law student (1st yr) and also majoring in econs... hahaha yeah neways he's a nice bloke who helped me to get started... yeah so i love my work.... and it came out of nowhere. (got it on the first phone call =P) it all seemed to work out. i work tuesdays and fridays from 3:00-5:30 (which means i have time to concentrate on my studies as well as work)
in conclusion, God does provide... and i thank him for that