This week's song is: Where the love lasts forever (Hillsong London)
it's been in my head for the whole week. so much that i'm doing it at band practice this week (God help my voice =p). But it's a great song. Lyrics are pretty meaningful.
Your mercy found me,
Upon the broken road,
And lifted me beyond my failing,
Into Your glory,
My sin and shame dissolved,
And now forever Yours I’ll stand.
In love never to end,
To call You more than Lord,
Glorious friend.
So I throw my life upon all You are,
‘Cause I know You gave it all for me,
And when all else fades,
My soul will dance with You,
Where the love lasts forever.
And forever I will sing,
Lord forever I will sing,
Of how You gave Your life away,
Just to save me, Lord You saved me.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Saturday, May 19, 2007
I've just finished watching the FA Cup final. it happened again. United dominate extra time, and lose to a late... late goal... am i crushed? Definitely. Defeats hurt. But in the big picture, we've won the league... so it doesn't matter that much.
It's amazing how much emotion goes through watching a game of soccer: anticipation (Rooney picks up the ball on the run), hope (when the ultimate super-sub Solskjaer comes on), cynicism (when Robben "falls"), injustice (i swear THAT ball crossed the line) Heartbreak (cue in Drogba's goal)... yeah. the best part is going through that whole gamut of thoughts, and trying to realize that its just a game. at the end of it, whether my team wins or loses, it really wont affect my life in a really significant manner.
The scary thing is that there are ppl who take very seriously sportsperson halfway across the world winning/losing a game. I can refer you to the example of Andres Escobar, whose own goal in the 1994 World Cup led to Colombia's elimination. He was shot dead back home. There's probably some other issues there which led to his murder (his death was probably associated with large-scale gambling), but generally, who among us (i refer to us guys - have to admit girls are more logical about this =P) has never sworn or thrown something at a TV after seeing someone do something remarkably stupid played out on a sports field?
Which gets me thinking: why do we sometimes invest so much effort/emotions into things which really, at the end, don't matter? To escape a mundane reality? To be a part of something larger than yourself?
I remember a portion from the book Wild at Heart which alludes to why people might follow sport. We all want to be a part of a bigger picture. We all seek significance in some way... and sometimes we try to find it in being part of a winning team. I support Manchester Utd. We're a good team. We play good, flowing attractive football. Notice the "We". I've never played at Old Trafford. I've never even met any of the team, and yet immediately there's that association. I support a winning team. Therefore I'm a winner. And when they lose, am I a loser?
I've been listening to a Delirious CD, and there's a point when the lead singer goes "If we'd all just admit, that we all want to be winners here"... and he goes on and speaks of God. He speaks of how "there's a song the angels have been singing since the dawn of time... " and it is this: "Holy is the lord". And as I recall that now, I've just realized that sometimes we seek our significance in things which will fade away. One day, Sir Alex will retire, and United will go back to being an average team, which I'll continue to support ardently. One day, i will no longer be able to get away with dyeing my hair (refer you to my dad). One day, i will run into someone smarter, faster, funnier, stronger ... etc etc. For some of us, we've reached that point... where we sense that we're not that special after all. We're not the best. We're just normal people. Insignificant
But here's the thing. There's a greater story going on out there. It transcends sport. It goes beyond our daily routines, beyond our relationships. There's more to life than life, so to speak. As the song goes... "And I've found myself in You [God]". I want to live life that way. I cant say I'm at that point now, but i want to live my life in that place. That place where i find myself, my worth in where I am with God. That place where I'm part of a deeper story written by the One who made us. Where I stop striving to earn my significance, but where I start living in the significance of what God has done.
"so take me to that place / where i can see your face
cause all i want to do / and all i want to do is worship you" ("Found")
It's amazing how much emotion goes through watching a game of soccer: anticipation (Rooney picks up the ball on the run), hope (when the ultimate super-sub Solskjaer comes on), cynicism (when Robben "falls"), injustice (i swear THAT ball crossed the line) Heartbreak (cue in Drogba's goal)... yeah. the best part is going through that whole gamut of thoughts, and trying to realize that its just a game. at the end of it, whether my team wins or loses, it really wont affect my life in a really significant manner.
The scary thing is that there are ppl who take very seriously sportsperson halfway across the world winning/losing a game. I can refer you to the example of Andres Escobar, whose own goal in the 1994 World Cup led to Colombia's elimination. He was shot dead back home. There's probably some other issues there which led to his murder (his death was probably associated with large-scale gambling), but generally, who among us (i refer to us guys - have to admit girls are more logical about this =P) has never sworn or thrown something at a TV after seeing someone do something remarkably stupid played out on a sports field?
Which gets me thinking: why do we sometimes invest so much effort/emotions into things which really, at the end, don't matter? To escape a mundane reality? To be a part of something larger than yourself?
I remember a portion from the book Wild at Heart which alludes to why people might follow sport. We all want to be a part of a bigger picture. We all seek significance in some way... and sometimes we try to find it in being part of a winning team. I support Manchester Utd. We're a good team. We play good, flowing attractive football. Notice the "We". I've never played at Old Trafford. I've never even met any of the team, and yet immediately there's that association. I support a winning team. Therefore I'm a winner. And when they lose, am I a loser?
I've been listening to a Delirious CD, and there's a point when the lead singer goes "If we'd all just admit, that we all want to be winners here"... and he goes on and speaks of God. He speaks of how "there's a song the angels have been singing since the dawn of time... " and it is this: "Holy is the lord". And as I recall that now, I've just realized that sometimes we seek our significance in things which will fade away. One day, Sir Alex will retire, and United will go back to being an average team, which I'll continue to support ardently. One day, i will no longer be able to get away with dyeing my hair (refer you to my dad). One day, i will run into someone smarter, faster, funnier, stronger ... etc etc. For some of us, we've reached that point... where we sense that we're not that special after all. We're not the best. We're just normal people. Insignificant
But here's the thing. There's a greater story going on out there. It transcends sport. It goes beyond our daily routines, beyond our relationships. There's more to life than life, so to speak. As the song goes... "And I've found myself in You [God]". I want to live life that way. I cant say I'm at that point now, but i want to live my life in that place. That place where i find myself, my worth in where I am with God. That place where I'm part of a deeper story written by the One who made us. Where I stop striving to earn my significance, but where I start living in the significance of what God has done.
"so take me to that place / where i can see your face
cause all i want to do / and all i want to do is worship you" ("Found")
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Congratulations, Nickolas!
Your IQ score is 136
Your IQ score is 136
Your Intellectual Type is Facts Curator. This means you are highly intelligent and have picked up an impressive and unique collection of facts and figures over the years. You've got a remarkable vocabulary and exceptional math skills — which puts you in the same class as brainiacs like Bill Gates...
*looks up at above results skeptically*
i love it when it mentions my "exceptional" math skills. I've spent the last 3 years of my degree avoiding all maths... to this date, mentions of the words "stochastic" or "regression" send shudders down my spine. I remember when my supervisor asked me to consider using regression analysis in my thesis. I think the look of horror on my face might be one he'd remember for a while (i really need to hide my emotions better).
wouldn't mind being Bill Gates for a day though, as long as i didn't have to look like him =p. I'd hope I'd make the world a better place. Or if not, at least I'd have a few extra effects pedals for my guitar... In which case the world would be a much noisier place...
Monday, May 14, 2007
10 random things
ok so Dave tagged me, and the way this works is that once u've been tagged, u have to come up with 10 random things about yourself (i know this is childish. i also know i'm turning 20, the age where childishness should end. but ... oh well =P)
number 1:
i cant touch my hands behind my back. you know the stretching exercise where you raise one arm in the air above your shoulders, bend your elbow back so your hand is in the small of your back, and put your other hand behind your back to grab the hand? i cant do it. i'm not even close. everyone else in cell can. i feel left out =P...
number 2:
while i have 10 gbs of music, i probably only listen to 2 gbs over and over again. and i also listen to the same Jeremy Camp CD quite often (Carried: the worship project - awesome). I also love singing... and i do practice singing in the middle of the night... when everyone is asleep - not very socially responsible, am i? (there's a reason why at one point, we had no neighbours to the left, right and behind of our house)
number 3:
i dyed my hair brown on a bet with a friend (who shall remain unnamed). i'm still a tad impressed by my impulsiveness =P. She might be as well. Mum wasn't. Dad recommended black with blonde highlights.
see before and after pics... this by itself probably merits a later post.
number 4:
i'm pretty hard of hearing in my left ear. i cant even use a phone on that ear. i blame this to years of ipod usage. why the left? maybe that's because i used to play right next to the drums at church...its all worth it. at least now i have an excuse not to listen to ppl (sorry mum =P)
number 5:
i break guitar strings as regularly as Harry Kewell gets an injury (i think i average about one a week - which is sad as i generally play maybe 3 times a week)... the most memorable was breaking the B and E strings of my electric during a church service, and being forced to improvise a solo for Follow the Son on the higher frets - not fun... if you dont know your scales well - thank God my brother covered haha...
as Andy would call it: "the passion" =D... having said that, at $5 a string, it's starting to become a pricy passion.
number 6:
i'm addicted to sport. totally addicted. i will take a combined 2 hour bus trip to play badminton for an hour. play cricket on Sundays. I try to play tennis on Mondays (badly, but i do try - despite Annabelle beating me regularly). i think my passion for football (soccer to you Aussies out there) is well documented... I've played with sprained ankles. I live and breathe it. Daydream about scoring the perfect girl... no wait ... goal =P. sport keeps me sane.
number 7:
despite the aforementioned hair colour, i am not an ah beng, or a ricey, or an Asian gang leader (my Dad's comment)... i still feel no urges to buy a polluting, way-too-fast jap sports car and rev up and down the streets of Northbridge, or to date an ah lian for that matter...
I can rev the 1.8l 1996 model Camry fast enough... (for an update on Friday's drag race: 1.8l Camry (1996) vs 3.2l Kluger (Circa 2004)... look out for it soon =P. the driver of the Kluger who shall not be named - she asked to remain anonymous - lets just say i lost badly, and to a maneuver which would not be out of place in the Sepang Grand Prix)
number 8:
I'm famous for being a tad... clumsy... example: managing to cut myself twice the other day. the first time was from reaching behind my laptop to unplug it. the second time was from getting the band-aid to fix up the first cut. enough said.
number 9:
i enjoy cooking (though i have a rather limited repertoire). for a detailed menu, ask me or Michelle.
number 10:
Annabelle and I shared the honours today at badminton... she won the first 2 sets 15-7, 15-8, and I won the last 2 sets 15-10, 15-12. She's getting good. very good. I worked twice as hard as she did to win the last 2 sets (and that was only because my male competitive spirit kicked in =P). Does this mean i have to get better at tennis? Fat chance. she beats me regularly. wait, she beats most of us guys who play regularly. too good, girl.
there we go. now who to tag? Boss, you're up next.
number 1:
i cant touch my hands behind my back. you know the stretching exercise where you raise one arm in the air above your shoulders, bend your elbow back so your hand is in the small of your back, and put your other hand behind your back to grab the hand? i cant do it. i'm not even close. everyone else in cell can. i feel left out =P...
number 2:
while i have 10 gbs of music, i probably only listen to 2 gbs over and over again. and i also listen to the same Jeremy Camp CD quite often (Carried: the worship project - awesome). I also love singing... and i do practice singing in the middle of the night... when everyone is asleep - not very socially responsible, am i? (there's a reason why at one point, we had no neighbours to the left, right and behind of our house)
number 3:
i dyed my hair brown on a bet with a friend (who shall remain unnamed). i'm still a tad impressed by my impulsiveness =P. She might be as well. Mum wasn't. Dad recommended black with blonde highlights.
see before and after pics... this by itself probably merits a later post.
number 4:
i'm pretty hard of hearing in my left ear. i cant even use a phone on that ear. i blame this to years of ipod usage. why the left? maybe that's because i used to play right next to the drums at church...its all worth it. at least now i have an excuse not to listen to ppl (sorry mum =P)
number 5:
i break guitar strings as regularly as Harry Kewell gets an injury (i think i average about one a week - which is sad as i generally play maybe 3 times a week)... the most memorable was breaking the B and E strings of my electric during a church service, and being forced to improvise a solo for Follow the Son on the higher frets - not fun... if you dont know your scales well - thank God my brother covered haha...
as Andy would call it: "the passion" =D... having said that, at $5 a string, it's starting to become a pricy passion.
number 6:
i'm addicted to sport. totally addicted. i will take a combined 2 hour bus trip to play badminton for an hour. play cricket on Sundays. I try to play tennis on Mondays (badly, but i do try - despite Annabelle beating me regularly). i think my passion for football (soccer to you Aussies out there) is well documented... I've played with sprained ankles. I live and breathe it. Daydream about scoring the perfect girl... no wait ... goal =P. sport keeps me sane.
number 7:
despite the aforementioned hair colour, i am not an ah beng, or a ricey, or an Asian gang leader (my Dad's comment)... i still feel no urges to buy a polluting, way-too-fast jap sports car and rev up and down the streets of Northbridge, or to date an ah lian for that matter...
I can rev the 1.8l 1996 model Camry fast enough... (for an update on Friday's drag race: 1.8l Camry (1996) vs 3.2l Kluger (Circa 2004)... look out for it soon =P. the driver of the Kluger who shall not be named - she asked to remain anonymous - lets just say i lost badly, and to a maneuver which would not be out of place in the Sepang Grand Prix)
number 8:
I'm famous for being a tad... clumsy... example: managing to cut myself twice the other day. the first time was from reaching behind my laptop to unplug it. the second time was from getting the band-aid to fix up the first cut. enough said.
number 9:
i enjoy cooking (though i have a rather limited repertoire). for a detailed menu, ask me or Michelle.
number 10:
Annabelle and I shared the honours today at badminton... she won the first 2 sets 15-7, 15-8, and I won the last 2 sets 15-10, 15-12. She's getting good. very good. I worked twice as hard as she did to win the last 2 sets (and that was only because my male competitive spirit kicked in =P). Does this mean i have to get better at tennis? Fat chance. she beats me regularly. wait, she beats most of us guys who play regularly. too good, girl.
there we go. now who to tag? Boss, you're up next.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
maybe i'm a little too competitive....
Just got home from uni... good day today. Skipped my 12pm Micro lecture to go do some shopping (secret business). Got to uni, worked on the thesis presentation a little bit (15 min presentation tomorrow morning - i really should be doing it now =P), and then went to my TIIE lecture.
There's nothing quite like a 3 hour lecture, with a pitifully short 10 minute break in between to make you realise how tiring writing can really be, and how unfortunately boring class can be. luckily the 2nd half was just presentations... so it wasn't all bad.
Also spent the day discussing with friends how my hair should be cut. For those not in the know, i'm getting my hair cut with Yong tmr... at Eternity Hair Salon (recommended by Kevin - i'll tell u how it goes). and no. it's not a gay thing. Guy bonding time =P...
I've realised in the last few days i actually have several fashion consultants i can go to haha. Yong for hair and clothes stuff, Kevin for recommendations as to places to get things done, and Michie... to prevent me from doing anything stupid. i guess i can add Amanda to this list because she tells me when I've been wearing the same shirt too many times (coming from a girl who couldn't pick what my favourite shirt was - but that's another story).
But that's not the point of the post. Lately, i've realised that when i'm playing games... i get a little competitive. I played soccer today with some engineering guys, and Richie... and all was going well (was doing my not-so-good impression of a fullback rampaging down the right wing - think a better-looking Dani Alves, with miles less skill =P), until i decided to get into several tackles. In soccer, there are these things called 50-50 balls, where the ball is loose in between players from opposite teams, and there's equal chance of getting the ball. Generally... he who is bravest gets the ball, and hopefully one of the two (or possibly 3-4) players running towards the ball will pull out (Think of the game "chicken" on the soccer field).
So normally, i go into a tackle, and the other guy will either:
a. pull out of it, so i steal the ball
b. if he's bigger than me, stand his ground - i get... flattened
c. if he's the same size as me, also go for the ball...
see, in (a) and (b), no-one gets hurt (well i get hurt in (b), but that's besides the point - i asked for it). in (c)... hehe
So anyways, Richie had mistakenly allowed the ball to bounce away from him. I dashed in, and as i stuck a leg out to kick the ball, he stuck his leg out, knocking the ball away from me. Due to the laws of physics (momentum), my already outstretched leg kicked the bottom of his foot. i then, carried by momentum flew towards him (i had ran full tilt to get to the ball). Realizing impact was imminent, i stuck an arm out to protect myself. My elbow cracked him solidly on the forehead. We both went down (he was a lot worse off). It was a solid hit.
That wouldn't have been so bad, if i hadn't also contrived to later on, chasing another 50-50 ball... run into him. this time i got the ball first (no foul =P). There was a nice clash of heads... and a nice fall onto the ground. i quote Richie: "i cant believe this is happening again". It's actually the 3rd time I've collided with him. Last week, we were both battling for the ball again, when he contrived to head-butt me in the chest (a la Materazzi). so yeah... Sorry Richie!
(as a note - maybe next time, we should stay on the same team =P)
there was meant to be a conclusion to this... and this is it.
There's nothing quite like a 3 hour lecture, with a pitifully short 10 minute break in between to make you realise how tiring writing can really be, and how unfortunately boring class can be. luckily the 2nd half was just presentations... so it wasn't all bad.
Also spent the day discussing with friends how my hair should be cut. For those not in the know, i'm getting my hair cut with Yong tmr... at Eternity Hair Salon (recommended by Kevin - i'll tell u how it goes). and no. it's not a gay thing. Guy bonding time =P...
I've realised in the last few days i actually have several fashion consultants i can go to haha. Yong for hair and clothes stuff, Kevin for recommendations as to places to get things done, and Michie... to prevent me from doing anything stupid. i guess i can add Amanda to this list because she tells me when I've been wearing the same shirt too many times (coming from a girl who couldn't pick what my favourite shirt was - but that's another story).
But that's not the point of the post. Lately, i've realised that when i'm playing games... i get a little competitive. I played soccer today with some engineering guys, and Richie... and all was going well (was doing my not-so-good impression of a fullback rampaging down the right wing - think a better-looking Dani Alves, with miles less skill =P), until i decided to get into several tackles. In soccer, there are these things called 50-50 balls, where the ball is loose in between players from opposite teams, and there's equal chance of getting the ball. Generally... he who is bravest gets the ball, and hopefully one of the two (or possibly 3-4) players running towards the ball will pull out (Think of the game "chicken" on the soccer field).
So normally, i go into a tackle, and the other guy will either:
a. pull out of it, so i steal the ball
b. if he's bigger than me, stand his ground - i get... flattened
c. if he's the same size as me, also go for the ball...
see, in (a) and (b), no-one gets hurt (well i get hurt in (b), but that's besides the point - i asked for it). in (c)... hehe
So anyways, Richie had mistakenly allowed the ball to bounce away from him. I dashed in, and as i stuck a leg out to kick the ball, he stuck his leg out, knocking the ball away from me. Due to the laws of physics (momentum), my already outstretched leg kicked the bottom of his foot. i then, carried by momentum flew towards him (i had ran full tilt to get to the ball). Realizing impact was imminent, i stuck an arm out to protect myself. My elbow cracked him solidly on the forehead. We both went down (he was a lot worse off). It was a solid hit.
That wouldn't have been so bad, if i hadn't also contrived to later on, chasing another 50-50 ball... run into him. this time i got the ball first (no foul =P). There was a nice clash of heads... and a nice fall onto the ground. i quote Richie: "i cant believe this is happening again". It's actually the 3rd time I've collided with him. Last week, we were both battling for the ball again, when he contrived to head-butt me in the chest (a la Materazzi). so yeah... Sorry Richie!
(as a note - maybe next time, we should stay on the same team =P)
there was meant to be a conclusion to this... and this is it.
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