ahh midsem fever

hmmm i do recall making statements to certain ppl that uni life is abt 12 weeks holiday and 3 weeks cramming... well hahaha yes let me revise that statement...
well with 3 midsems in 3 weeks... i feel the need to cram =P
it kicked off with International Finance on Friday at 10am, and then in 2 weeks Intro to Finance on the 26th at 6pm, and then Monetary Economics the tuesday after.... arghhhh
yeah and somewhere along the line there's a torts assignment coming in... so do i feel like crying... well actually i did shed a tear in IF this morning serious... hahaah you can ask Ryan...
no comment there =D *Q: what kind of guy cries in a lecture?* *A: the kind of guy who only started studying on Sunday, and realizes he's not gonna finish studying on time by Friday*
well yeah just had the exam yesterday... and it wasnt good... CRAP
yeah i shouldnt be blogging actually... i just spent 6 hours in the Reid cramming my brains out, and here i am at home, phone on shoulder... hahaah yeah sleepy... and trying to prove that guys can multitask as well as girls... well im failing miserably =P but oh well its still good
on another note...
yeah church today was good :) it seems the sermons get more relevant everyday... i guess im just listening more nowadays. like even through a haze of sleep-deprivation (4 hours last night) i still managed to pay attention and took something from the service... well yeah have been struggling with several things in my life nowadays... and thus... its like sometimes i feel so unworthy of God's grace, and what He has given me... but then again the sermon material we've been doing is extremely relevant... its like well everytime i get stuck into a negative way of thinking, i remember something i learnt in cell or at church, and i'm able to pick myself up again... like for example, the lesson i've relearnt recently, that our relationship with God, as His children is an unconditional gift, and even when i sin, and fall short of his glory, He still sees me as His child, like it's not about what we do, because we will always fall short by our own efforts in trying to resist temptation, but about what He did on the cross (freedom from the wages of sin) and is doing in my life (maturing me by the renewing of my mind). well i've relearnt a constantly learnt lesson (for me anyways) that well its when you reach the end of your limits, that God comes in, and this goes for many things in my life... sigh hahaha well i guess all i can say is that noone's perfect... its frustrating though... we do what we dont want to do and dont do what we should... (Romans 7:21-25)... we all grow at our own pace... so all we can do is fix our eyes on the author and perfector of our faith...
what keeps me positive? 2 Corinthians 5:17 - i may not like myself because of my sinful nature, but i live knowing that God has made me a new creation in Him, and that i have a new identity in him (1 Peter 2:9-10, 1 Corinthians 1:2). why live in guilt when freedom has been given to us? (NB: this does not mean that we should keep sinning so grace should increase btw...=P)
but well... i believe that when you confess your sins to Christ with the intention to not do it again... i believe that your sins are forgiven, and forgotten, and not held against you... now if it isnt held against you anymore by the Lord our Judge, why should we continue to hold it against ourselves? is God's grace insufficient for us? we have been justified by faith. the price has been paid... so live in Christ's freedom, not in guilt, not in our circumstances... for faith goes beyond our immediate dark circumstances, but sees the future ahead of us.