Ma Ma

i've been on holiday in Malaysia for the last 2 weeks, attending 3 wedding dinners/lunches and one wedding ceremony. more on that in future posts...

today, i'd like to share one of the true highlights of my trip thus far (LONG, UNEDITED POST AHEAD) - catching up with my grandmother (Mrs Lam Ah Hong/ Ah Hong / Ma Ma). A bit of background. When I was young (in the last few years of my primary school), my family lived in an apartment in Section 17, while my grandma lived in the "family house" in SS2 with some uncles and aunts. As both my parents worked full time, my grandmother was the one who would look after me during the day. At nights, my parents would have dinner in SS2, and we'd return to the apartment, where i'd do my homework, play abit and then sleep. In effect, my grandma's place was where I lived.

In writing this post, I'd first like to say that this is not in any way meant to be a criticism of my parents who have unfailingly supported me all these years. However, this is why i'm especially close to my grandma. She would pick me from school in a Kancil (she'd "gotten" a driving licence in her 60s for that purpose), cook me lunch (and she's an awesome cook - used to do wedding dinners), talk with me, and we'd hang out during the day (I also used to play football daily with some neighbourhood friends). I know it may sound completely uncool to some people (hanging out with your grandma), but now as a 20 year uni student living in Perth, I miss her.

I used to teach her English (and in the process learn cantonese), and we'd talk about how she should give up smoking (she did), her childhood, my day at school, and other things. We'd even garden together. I remember growing long beans, bean sprouts, and on one occasion corn (which didn't work out too well) with her in the garden at the SS2 terrace house. And of course there were the many occasions when I had to help her thread a needle into the sewing machine she kept (younger eyes are sharper). There was even a day when my regular football friends couldnt play and thus she kicked a ball around with me, well until she fell on her back. She still remembers that to this day.

I remember a day at school (when I was in Standard 5) and I had been picked on by my friends all day... to the point where I was about to burst into tears. And I did as I walked out of school towards her. And I will never forget the hug she gave me.

There was also the day when I decided (with one of my "bright ideas") to walk home from school, and I gave her a fright. After searching the school, she eventually drove back and picked me up on the route back. She told me of how scared she was for me. The funny thing is that I can never remember her scolding me to the point where I was afraid, and yet, the lesson would be learnt. She had that knack of making every grandchild feel like the favourite one.

Ma Ma is very dear to me. She has spent all her life serving her family, and I have really been blessed in having her look after me. Today, we went for a walk around the field next door to the SS2 house (my football field many years ago). The years have gone by, and yet SS2 remains almost the same. And later we sat at the swing in the garden, and talked. She misses the days before my family left to Perth, when we all used to hang out together. In a sense the house became quiet after we left, and she felt that keenly (given her family was her life). In her words "ngor um guan jor la. mou lei dei seng yat hai li dou" (I'm not used to it, not having you guys always around). We talked about the times we spent, of how i refused to sleep as a baby, and she would have to get me to sleep - "ngor fan giok chor, but gor lei ger ngan jung hoi tai" (i was asleep already, and yet your eyes were still wide open). We caught up, and she started telling me about her childhood. In a sense, we rolled the years back.

My grandma recently celebrated her 75th birthday (chinese years). And having grown up under her eye, I can see that she's aged visibly. She's not as quick as before in thought and action. She's now on medication for diabetes and high blood pressure. And yet beneath the weight of the years on her features, i can see the heart of a lady who loves her family very much -

an aged rose remains a rose
even after a life flowers
its shed petals grace those nearby
beauty remains in frailty

She's not a Nobel prize winner, or a barrister, or a doctor, or a successful business tycoon, but she's given me so much, and I love her a lot. I cherish everytime we meet, because everytime i say goodbye, i really don't know whether I'll see her again.

God bless you, Grandma