Over dinner tonight, a thought struck me:
I've realized that this is the first time in 2 years that I've not been employed in anything. It's a strange feeling. I guess a part of my identity may be caught up in being able to (at least in some respects) look after myself and my finances. After all, one conclusion from my many conversations with Andy last year was that a man should be able to look after himself.
Being temporarily unemployed is a rather jolting feeling. One has to rely on the parents more for finances etc... I've actually had to ask for an allowance for the first time in 2 years. On the other hand, i feel no urgency to find another job, owing to the workload of university this year in particular. It may actually be for the best if i concentrate more on my studies and finish off the thesis. After all, it's not like my earning power is that flash anyways.
Having said that, the situation places me in a bit of a conundrum. I get the sense that I should concentrate more on my studies, and yet, if I'm not at least partially earning my keep, I feel a tad emasculated because I'm used to being, at least in some areas financially independent. I know I'm supposed to trust in God, and look for Him in all situations I may be placed in. I also know that well, this is supposed to be the season where my focus is on STUDY, not WORK...
But somehow, I need to work - and the absence of that is disempowering.
To be resolved...
I've realized that this is the first time in 2 years that I've not been employed in anything. It's a strange feeling. I guess a part of my identity may be caught up in being able to (at least in some respects) look after myself and my finances. After all, one conclusion from my many conversations with Andy last year was that a man should be able to look after himself.
Being temporarily unemployed is a rather jolting feeling. One has to rely on the parents more for finances etc... I've actually had to ask for an allowance for the first time in 2 years. On the other hand, i feel no urgency to find another job, owing to the workload of university this year in particular. It may actually be for the best if i concentrate more on my studies and finish off the thesis. After all, it's not like my earning power is that flash anyways.
Having said that, the situation places me in a bit of a conundrum. I get the sense that I should concentrate more on my studies, and yet, if I'm not at least partially earning my keep, I feel a tad emasculated because I'm used to being, at least in some areas financially independent. I know I'm supposed to trust in God, and look for Him in all situations I may be placed in. I also know that well, this is supposed to be the season where my focus is on STUDY, not WORK...
But somehow, I need to work - and the absence of that is disempowering.
To be resolved...
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